When I blew my expectations out onto the air
They flew like feathers
But landed like bricks.
Just a few months ago I was standing in front of a copier, counting down the minutes; counting down the pages, one by one, that much closer to that job I loved but had to leave. No diploma means that I had to take a trip back down south, when my life began to become of failure and the acceptance of such. I told myself it was worth it to go back, because my path towards the upside would be clearer, I could jump over the obstacle courses, that my disappointments would be gentler.
Now that the months have passed and I’ve obtain the credentials, the job that I worked so hard for seemed to taste sweeter, the accomplishment came with a personal head nod, I had done what I thought I’d never have to, I took responsibility for quitting and gave myself a do over.
I owe a large part of this success to my partner, my lover, my friend- Amber. She is completely underrated in her power of growth. Mostly to herself. I spend so much time sitting back and examining the path we’ve taken to get to the point that we are in right now. We started a total nightmare, any normal person would have ran for the hills…but we both stuck around because we are used to torture, internally and at times externally…anything above disaster is considered a miracle. I am seeing through your eyes baby, I just want you to speak your hardships until they are a story, and not what you live.
I apologize to all of those that I have hurt while I was hurting. I want to be your friend forever, as long as you are true to you, no apologies, I know how hard that is to do.