Daily affirmations

i have to keep reminding myself that things are better than my untrained eye can decipher.

I feel cold at night but there’s a blanket on top of me, my heart feels wary and my mind is dreary but I remind myself that just 2 months ago I was worried about any and everything that would cost money, and losing the closest person that I’d ever let next to me.

The battle to recognize my triumphs is a daily affirmation for me. I am too familiar with lonely and it makes me think of who I’ve lost recently but then the daily affirmation continues…
I continue to chat in whispers, I consciously exercise my breathing.

I’m just not for everybody.

My next move is so strategically planned that I scare myself, nothing else can go wrong or I’ll blow up like a building full of terrorists who are trying their hardest to prove something…

In fact,

I am a terrorist too. My mind is full of bombs created in my own bedroom, restless nights of roaming the internet trying to research the tools needed to create my own explosive changes, I want to blow up myself into tiny pieces, come back to life with a whole new set of eyes, thoughts, and cares, that would be my prize for my martyr sacrifice. Paradise; it would be heaven…

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(What happens when you hurt people)/Between the lies you tell

I am beginning to wonder if it is me.

If the joke is in fact, on me.

A practical joke

continuing on

with continuous impractical lies

swarming through our conversations like bees

don’t know where the lies begin

where the truth comes in

Do the lies ever end?

Silence makes me cry, because my heart wants us to sink

My mind asking me to speak

it out like two adults do,

but one lie turns into two

and those two turn my heart into acid,

I am astonished by your performance earlier, questioning me,

an actress indeed, the nerve to ask me

“How can I trust you?”

Well…

There’s this thing called “the truth”

There is no life without it.

You see,

Because it no longer becomes about lies

it no longer matters that you’ve lied,

because the only thing that comes to mind

is that you lie.

You are a liar.

And liars are destructive creatures taking human form.