Things have happened, been lost, and have been realized. My year in review is not about accomplishments but of realizations.
Birthdays prior were celebrated with certainty.
I was a warrior in life that had conquered a
multitude of battles, I looked down upon those …
who were enslaved mentally and emotionally,
couldn’t grasp the reasons behind surrendering
the only thing that we should have power over,
ourselves and our actions. I was proud to have
that advantage. I chopped it up to being an
August baby. In Ancient Rome, August was a
majestic month that inspires reverence and
admiration, and I was keeping up with the
namesake of my birth month because even with
many obstacles, I was barely weathered, I was
like a super-human. WAS.
However, I am sure that right now, I am dying.
Not in a literal sense, but in an emotional one.
Tragedy has become mundane, relatable.
I am mourning over a loss that has not become;
I am broken-hearted over a love that I have yet
to meet. Logically it seems that I am worried
about my future, but mentally I can’t help but
wonder if I am just now realizing that my past
has brought about a present that I should have
been worried about many years ago. The clock
is ticking continuously, and I am confused with
whether I should stop and smell the flowers and
risk being stung by a bee, or if I should keep on
going and find myself tripping over my own two
feet, falling to the floor and too tired to get up
and see what’s in front of me.
Perhaps the biggest scare was finding out
that I was not a genius on how this life works.
I could read every minute of my day, I could
watch every move that I make, but it doesn’t
change the fact that each minute passes
differently, each moment can have a new affect
on me, and each day isn’t promised to be there,
no matter how certain things seem to be.
I have to continue my drive to revolution,
my fight has temporarily gone dormant,
being substituted with partying ways,
distractions, love interests, and messed up
priorities. I will re-awaken the warrior and take
on the ambiguity of life.