Can I talk to you?

Things are finally feeling back to normal.
Past few months have been opaque, unexplainable.
My heart has been swallowed up in a plastic bag,
gasping, suffocating from a lack of air.
I will blame it on the season change.
It were as if my head was aware of the changes,
but unlike before,
I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop myself from
raging on the inside.

I hated it.

Got an email this morning from an Editor of a semi-popular weekly newspaper here in San Diego. I turned in a test article by request, focusing on the most prominent LGBT moments in history. Here’s her response:

10/30/13

to me
Hi Kimberly,
Your article was wonderful!!  We’d love to have you!

What would you like to be called in your by-line? I would just need your paperwork back, since you will be getting paid for this writing assignment. We will discuss compensation a bit further when you come in.

I’ll also need a photograph for your press badge.
Let me know when you’re free to talk!
Thanks

Reading this has made me feel two things: Proud of myself, because I have been able to get writing gigs with publications and I have a very limited formal educational background in Journalism. (Lets face it, but I just write stuff and post it, barely catching errors lol.) I also felt empty, not sure if it’s because I am intimidated by the demands of writing, or if it is because I am at an age where I know every step that I take counts for something. I am no longer at that place where I can f**k around and rely on my youth to cover for me.

All in all, I am very happy with the fact that I can make sense of all of the things I have been ignoring recently, and can’t wait to see what happens with my career, writing, love life, and etcetera.

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Today

Embarks the start of a new realization.

When you stop moving, you become overly-comfortable with the things and people around you that aren’t moving as well. Keep going, until you come across the extraordinary matching your speed.

WOTD

Practicality and logic over emotion can de-humanize a great relationship, or save you from a bad one. A balance is always necessary, and you should always see where you have to exercise one more than the other.

All of a sudden, there is new.

In 1999, I used to wish for  a better place to lay my head.
Never knew where it was, or how I’d get there,
but I knew it would be through disappearing.
Laying my head on the dingy mattress, I’d think about
trusting the world, and the prizes inside it.
Love would be a requirement, suffering would be a prison
sentence to those who refused to accept our way of life.
I would no longer be hungry, I will no longer lose sleep,
My blemished wings will be healed instantly, and oh how we’d
love the differences that are our humanity.
Years have passed down like minutes, and my mattress
dreams have transformed into a pillow of reality,
I meditate to alter my way of thinking, because the older
I’d gotten, the more i’d realize that nothing was the same
except my dreaming.
That better place wasn’t around me, that way my epiphany.
It is inside myself, and we all can find it if we are lucky.
 
 
 

Quiet.

Peace, soothe me.

Peace, soothe me.

One minute it was here, feeling solid upon touch.
My mind was clear, and the clock ticked away with no feeling of required accentuation.

The quiet keeps teasing me, giving me temporary moments of serenity and then snatching it away.
My only hope is not a mind full of riches,
I ask only to rest.

So, THATS why I am happier. :)

What I want to say is,

I had always imagined you,
But I hadn’t imagined the existence of you.
You are my dream,
And I am the dreamcatcher.

You are fire,
and after being watered down with mediocrity
before you;
I am finally burning.

We have extraordinary conversations ordinarily
In such a short time you have me wanting infinitely,
continually,
Keeping my mind moving in directions that run circles
around negativity.

Everyday before today has become
insignificant,
and tomorrow with you is a goal.
Before, there were always nobody’s but I gave them
the somebody in me
To pass up time and to stay relevant in the life
of someone else, didn’t realize how much I was
losing,  until they left and I gained everything
when I met you.
For the first time what felt normal wasn’t normal,
My lines have changed from “I don’t want to hurt
you” to “I won’t hurt you”,
nothing is clearer
Love has found me, and I am happy.