As I busily sought after a continual change, you met me at each stop sign with a message that it was okay to be me. I wanted fortune to land upon my hands but you were rich all along and prepared to share every last penny of love and your love was like a million 2 dollar bills, rare, a collectors piece but I treated it like it was chump change now I am left on street corners day after day hoping the next stranger walking by will be of value and help me fulfill this fix, never knew of my addiction until I felt like I needed you so I kept looking, sure enough one day I’d be blessed like the Christian’s say, just had to walk my life in the Lords way, but instead I kept straying in a direction of a loss prophet named dysfunction but nicknamed fun… you were still ready to teach me, take me under your wing and protect me from your many imposters. I kept going, and you never stopped meeting me, hoping that one day I’d wake up and meet you halfway. Now I am slowing down, I can’t breathe, diagnosed with shame and preparing for a surgically implanted self blame, How could I miss this..when all-along I was living on your hearts vibrations? Waiting for your everything to pump though my veins like life eternally, so loudly you’d say “I’m not going anywhere” but I couldn’t hear you over the repeated voice saying; one day she’ll walk away, one day she’ll walk away… and imagining this would be like getting hit with a slow bullet, an agonizing demise that would only translate into torturous punishment. Yet..you stayed even when I didn’t deserve it.
Goddess, you are love.