Adult Living In a Child’s Memories- A Letter To Unfamiliar

I thought I would write a letter to you,  unfamiliar
I was forced to meet your acquaintance at an age much younger than my present

Though I am an adult living in a young childs memories,
Unfamiliar took away what is known as my innocence
And left it in the front seat of a Honda Accord.

You must have been stuck in the silly place of fantasy
Or sickness, depends on how you use your imagination
Since my childlike body was growing as a tree trunk tends to
Or the newly developed adult teeth as they peeked through my
mouth in between inquisitive questions of how and why

When eventually finding that I wouldn’t get the right answer
I chose to stare at the raindrops falling against the window shield
Knowing then, at 8 years old that my future would be tainted
And as an adult, I would be living in a childs memories.

Unfamiliar, why..does your violation linger long after? Scratchy fingers
colliding with skin that has never been touched, guess that is where
You get your name, unfamiliar. When I met you I thought I would be
prepared by the knowledge of life and have the protection of loves wings

Unscathed, courageous with a shield to yield the scary man
of your namesake, soon as you touched my body or mind I wouldn’t feel
a thing.

Instead I was cheated at the chance at adolescence, once I’d placed
my lips onto your dirty place and ecstasy into your dirty mind
forever living in a secret, you’d smile and tell me I was beautiful,
more beautiful than any other girl in the world, words unfamiliar
and perplexing to me as a child and as adult in that child’s mind..
why? why I, would be the one to move you?

The power over me must be orgasmic
As I am controlled much like the puppet who dances with limp limbs and
an erased identity, only known as the one with the easiest pulling strings.

Through it all I have developed an ability to cry tears of acid
Burning so intensely that it could only be explained as anger
cremating my psyche of happy and turning it into ashes of questions
Questioning why you- unfamiliar, chose to shackle me?

Being an adult living in a child’s memories, I remember you vividly.
as you represent the dark that I see when I lay down to rest.


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